Time keeps ticking on. I've been up to a bit of this. A bit of that. The huge hole of overwhelming sadness has disappeared and I'm feeling well supported by the universe and my angels. And now I so know that I've got another one watching my back. The funeral was beautiful. Filled with lots of love.
The sun has been shining. The sand between my toes stays stuck until I shower it off. The cool Pacific winds come and blow. The butterflies are madly dashing their first and final dance. The flowering of every tree and bush and cacti in sight is magnificent. But raining crap down all over my car. Afternoons are getting longer. I'm waking with the sun and feeling in sync with Mother Earth.
But the news reports are getting sillier than ever. Who in the world believes the crap and lies and hate coming out of Bush's mouth anymore? Ditto Howard. How could congress have agreed to giving the Pentagon another $US70 billion to fight wars based on lies? But I suppose I'm digressing....
Last Thursday I found a few minutes to sit down and update this blog. And minutes later I then got a call from my Mum telling me the shocking and sad news that my uncle had died - quite suddenly - from a heart attack - which now I realise was a real blessing because he didn't have to endure the hideous pain and suffering and slow demise that cancer brings anymore. He died 1 day before he would have been 61, and 1 day before their 27th wedding anniversary.
So the end of last week was a blur. But somehow yesterday felt different, better. Practising the buddhist mantra"Om Mani Padme Hum" and thinking of my uncle has really helped me and is helping him too. And I think there is a real acceptance coming from my family rather than any anger or bitterness which is so important and necessary for his soul at this time.
We also got back to normal life and settled on a car and bought it on Saturday. My idea of dealing with the dealer went by the wayside. I just wasn't in the headspace for that at all and didn't care in the end. So hopefully we take ownership of that later today.
And yesterday in the heat and wind 4 girlfriends had a last lunch before my oldest friend marries for the second time next Monday. She's going to be having a big Greek wedding so am looking very forward to that.
Finished the day off with a walk at the beach. It was still so warm at sunset and was the perfect ending to the day. Bushfires had been raging earlier, the air had that smoky scent and looking back towards the city you could see the filmy haze of smoke all over the harbour. So the word "tinderbox" has been used already by the media and it's only September. Scary. But hey Johnny Howard, you're probably right about global warming being just some crazy thing dreamt up by the hippie extremists.
For SPC, here's one of my twin sister and I. I've spent more time with her than any other person in my life. I wonder why this time around we decided to come here together? We often try and work out whether we had a pact in another life, unfinished karmic business, did we love each other or hate each other? Or was it just mother nature splitting hairs?
It's actually her wedding anniversary today - well done S & M!!!!! She's a little under the weather and so are her kids and S is away working.....lots of love to you!!!!
We went looking for a new car for JD this weekend. I had been so resistant, not wanting to be spending my time doing such a tedious task as shopping, and then for a car at that. I'm not into shopping and I'm not into cars. I like them to be reliable and get me from A to B with the least amount of fuss and least amount of fuel consumption. But I can't often tell the difference between cars, and I certainly don't get excited by cars or how fast they can go or what the wheel trim looks like. I can barely remember the makes of cars let alone register the small differences in design and extras in the different models.
Anyway, Saturday morning after a nice walk at the beach we hit some car yards close to home...and I decided to change my attitude and just see it as spending a nice sunny day out...and you know what - it worked! It ended up being fun. The salesmen weren't sleazy or pushy or playing mind games as far as I could tell.
We've pretty much narrowed it down to 1 car....so now all that's left is the deal. Which I'm going to see as a game. I'm not going to get too serious about it, but I'm going to make sure we reduce the price by a few thousand at least....so let the games begin!
We've been back a bit over a week from our little holiday......and I feel like I've just about found my feet again, but somehow I know I'm resisting. Everyone usually has a bit of post-holiday blues, but I haven't so much the blues but just a realisation that there really are so many other ways to live a life. Which makes me start questioning so many aspects of my own life. And how I want to live it. Knowing that I'm probably about half way through this one if I die at the average age, and having an uncle who is fighting a serious illness and having a few deaths of young high profile people last week happen is probably reinforcing what was already going on for me.
So having said that, over the next few posts I also want to share a little of the lovely time I had exploring a small part of this magnificent state (NSW). We travelled the inland route to our final destination about 800km's north of Sydney on the coast (Byron Bay) and then made our way home via both inland and coast roads. It was all really magical.
Just haven't got my act together to say anything lately. Since being on holiday and feeling wide open spaces I think something deep within has changed. Not sure just what yet, but I feel different. I have the feeling of detachment, indifference and being disconnected yet physically more grounded. Weird. Content but with a little stirring going on.I'll just observe things for a while and see if any further insights develop. Instead of forcing or coercing anything to a head I'll let the universe do it's thing.
This weekend is all about school. It's taking me a while to get my head back into this space, but it's another exciting phase...we're learning about pain management...and today I witnessed how some simple processes can eliminate pain all together. Awesome stuff.
Last Wednesday was the opening night at a cafe in Chippendale where a bunch of Sydney photographer friends and I have put together a small show. It was fun and it's just the beginning. This poolgirl shot is my piece.
Just spent an amazing 10 days away. Away from a big city. Away from lots of people. In beautiful nature. In stunning countryside so close to home and can't believe I hadn't seen before. So many exquisite meals. So many exquisite moments. Almost 2500 km's driven. A $231 fine received for speeding. Ouch. Some very lovely people met. Lots of sunshine. Lots of rain. Gorgeous walks in ancient rainforests. Standing amongst trees that were more than 400 years old and 55 metres tall. And each time we found we were the only ones there - can you imagine having a rainforest to yourself....sublime. The Weed Shire. Sleep-ins. Hearty breakfasts. Beach picnic lunches. Whales. Lots of whales. Mothers and calves. Males exuberantly displaying and dancing. Heading south too early say many. Sugarcane. Macadamia nut trees. Bananas. Cows. Sheep. Goats. Horses. Beach walks. Shells. Hills and mountains. Rolling green. Greens of all shades. Stars. Milky Way. Abundance. Space. Peace. Love. The Promised Land. Delicious perfect coffee and chai in the middle of nowhere. Fireplaces. Almost no TV. No computer.
And did I mention the Love!!!!!
For SPC - from the trip: my entry above. Me & JD. Finding ourselves on another beach. We'd driven the car down onto the sand. The wind was blowing. The sun was near setting. Everything was so lovely. Find more SPC'ers here.
