Monday, July 31

The Countdown Has Begun

There is definitely a whiff of summer in the air. Time to slap on the 30+ again. And time to start doing rather than thinking about some sort of fitness regime.

I've been sitting in front of this computer far too much lately. So much so my lower back has started to hurt. So since I last spoke I've decided to reduce my time here - and my back has already started thanking me.

The last few days have been very nicely filled with harbour jaunts, meeting friends, another 40th birthday party, school all day yesterday, and basically imbibing natures gifts. So I'm a tad jaded today and am in desperate need for an early night.

Only 4 more sleeps........

Thursday, July 27

Green with Envy

Some of the reasons why I wish I'd spent a summer in Germany with my angel.

Just got these from JD last night. I'm so glad I know where these were taken, I know the roads he took to get there. But I experienced all this in winter, which is so incredibly different to summer. For the last 2 months, they've been getting temperatures way up in the 30's - it's a heatwave there. He's so hot he can't sleep at night while I'm lying in bed hugging a hot-water bottle. It's such a big beautiful world. Tomorrow next week we have reunification. Can I just express how mildly ecstatic I'm already feeling.

Tuesday, July 25

SPC - Me as a Marimekko Print

I've always loved this design company. I'd love to work for them, or have a design taken up by these gods. I'm sure most of you agree, and I'm sure alot of people have been consciously or unconsciously influenced by what has been coming out of this Finnish hub of creativity for more than 50 years.

More SPC'ers can be found here.

So Many Paths So Little Time

My weekend at school ended rather dramatically. I'd been balancing a fellow student and we were making incredible progress, she was having the most amazing insights and I had absolutely no doubt about the accuracy of what was being uncovered. And then BANG, her body showed me something that when we articulated it together was so shocking for her that she actually went into physical shock. I was able to calm her down but then after about 20 minutes when we were already to leave she went into a series of panic attacks and my teacher asked everyone to leave and she dealt with her alone. It left me feeling really uneasy and helpless and somehow her state had infiltrated me. It was only yesterday after speaking with my sister that I realised that I should have insisted on staying there with her, finishing the process, or even just observing how my teacher finished the process with her. It would have been the best learning experience for me and I would have had real closure with my client. Probably because I was still emotionally attached to her I was unable to separate how she was feeling from myself. I was so exhausted last night and at 1.30am I was still awake. But I did sleep well and this morning I feel rested and myself again. What a relief. Kinesiology is a seriously powerful therapy and I'm feeling more excited than ever with these incredible tools I'm learning that can facilitate another person's personal growth.

Monday, July 24

3 Years Old

Yesterday was a blur of exhaustion so this is late - and because we celebrated my youngest niece's birthday most of the day - [Happy Birthday beautiful girl]- I'm back posting it.

It was the most chilled out kid's party of all time. And us adults had hours and hours to eat and talk and really have proper conversations because the kids were so content and low maintenance. It really was the perfect situation for me to be in my fragile condition. Jindi took the day off school and she was the Events Director and the perfect little hostess and party nanny.

We then had a nice family dinner with my Mum too that rounded the day off nicely. And because you can't sing Happy Birthday and blow out candles enough when you're 3 years old.

P.S. Doll and Jindi aren't the girls real names - I've had people comment on the names before saying how cool they are but these are just some of the names I call them....and their parents would rather me not use their real names too.

Friday, July 21

Air Water Fire....

Work was fun. It's not a cafe but a cool fish shop which this little seaside place hasn't got one of, which is very strange. I've never worked in hospitality before and so I only know it from the other side, but it was incredibly easy to be friendly with the very chilled out local clientele and the hours flew by and I didn't mind being like a production line at times. And when I finished I stumbled out into the gorgeous golden hour just before sunset and it was truly stunning.

This guy and his bike were enjoying the view all by themselves and then I came along. He didn't seem to like it. Like I'd intruded on his special place at this special time - so I didn't stay as long as I'd liked.

Black cockatoos are so beautiful and graceful. These 2 were all alone and were a sign for me about JD & me - so of course I was grinning from ear to ear.

I love the edges of clouds. They get wispy and burn off and morph into other clouds. The sunsetting behind this one exaggerates that effect because the edge looks to be on fire.

A friend has just dropped in on the way home and illuminated me with hilarious anecdotes from a book launch last week by a couple of acquaintances of ours who are absolute fakes and frauds and somehow know the right people but apparently after the launch may have just about buried themselves - hopefully.

School again all weekend. See ya when I see ya.

Thursday, July 20

Up Down Round & Round

ENJOYING: Eucalyptus oil washed floorboards, sparkling clean bath, crisp new linen on the bed & cupboards and fridge full of wholesome and not so wholesome goodies - yup it's been a morning of chores.

HATING: Realising JD will be home exactly 10 weeks to the day after he left makes me extremely unhappy. Yes guys, his trip got extended by another week. In the past 10 months we will have been apart more than 6 months. This is so totally fucked. He sent me this image of some lavender growing in his Mum's garden. I'm also jealous about missing summer in Europe, I'm jealous about him visiting our little French restaurant in Magdeburg, and I'm missing him.

SURPRISED BY: My 1st painting this year is almost done. And I’ve been loving it. My usual hatred just doesn’t seem to be there when I look at it – I hope my friend feels the same when she comes to pick it up.

ANTICIPATING: Tomorrow I’m actually working. Don’t all fall over. Well really just helping a friend out at her new seaside café. I’m really looking forward to it. They’re busier than they expected in their 1st week open so hopefully this is a good sign for her and her partners.

Wednesday, July 19

Early to Bed Does Not Necessarily Guarantee You a Good Nights Sleep

I was in bed before 10pm. Since JD last left it's been more like 12am or later. At 2am I awoke in a sweat after nightmare 1:

A tsunami had hit Bondi. I was able to hang onto a coastal tree branch and take the full force of the wave against my body. There were 3 more surges. I was getting exhausted and my hands were beginning to ache. And I was getting pissed off with some people who'd also taken hold of the same tree as the tree roots were beginning to give from the weight of all of us. The feeling that the tree wouldn't hold anymore and the tide being so high beneath us was frightening. I aborted the dream quickly. I couldn't get back to sleep. All I kept thinking about was having a real escape plan in place for us if we're at the beach and this happens: which way will we run, which building would be strongest to take the force of the wave, where's the quickest highest point from the beach. It was driving me nuts.

And then at 5am I awoke in a sweat after nightmare 2:

This is a stock standard dream of mine with slight variations and which is a bit too personal for here. But basically leaves me feeling desperate, alone, disbelieving, hurt and crying - crying so much that I'm crying as I wake up. And usually the feeling lasts the whole day. It's hideous. And again I couldn't get back to sleep.

Being woken out of semi-sleep by JD at 7am was fantastic because then I knew that night was over.

Tuesday, July 18

Self Portrait as an Insignificant Speck of Dust in the Universe

Go check out some seriously good entries at SPC headquarters.

Monday, July 17

Fun in the Sun Before it Disappeared

A day without Chai is never as good.

Slides are fun.

Especially together with your sister.

Their laughter is so infectious.

Just a little bit happy.

I can do my own makeup.
And I'm going to be 3 in 1 week.

I can't believe they're growing up
so fast.

The Weekend

Breakfast 11.30am
Lunch 5pm
Dinner 10.30pm

Breakfast 11.45am
Lunch 5pm
Dinner 9pm

I seem to have lost my rhythm.

Feeling very sore in my left butt - gluteus medius & gluteus maximus I need to work you harder more often. Ten Pin Disco-Bowling with a bunch of kool cats and one stiff dude was FUN!

Feeling pissed off and outraged with Israel's attacks on Lebanon. And very concerned this could lead to a massive world war. It all seems a little extreme considering that it's about 2 people being kidnapped.

Breathe in Breathe out.

Saturday, July 15

Surry Hills

Thursday, July 13

Can't Get Warm

My hands are aching from an ever increasing stagnation of my circulation. I've been for 2 walks today and I just can't get warm. I sat in the sun for an hour and my gas heater has been blasting hot air into my house and that's not helping either. I need a warm body to snuggle. A hot drink. Lots of ginger & chilli in my food. Actually maybe I need some alcohol?

Despite the cold weather, I was still able to find some beautiful and interesting things in the neighbourhood to keep me amused.

And a Happy Belated Birthday to you Connie - I know you're reading.

Tuesday, July 11

At 9.30pm last night I finally got JD a flight home. For some weird reason, the travel agent hadn't warned us about the problem with having loads of different flights on hold. We'd had the 11th, 24th and 28th and then all of a sudden we had nothing and then we had the 17th even though we didn't want it. The airline deletes stuff at whim when it detects more than 1 flight being held. JD's company would rather he stay on in Germany until the end of Stage 2 and luckily there was 1 seat left on the 26th. Phew. But that means another 2+ weeks away.

I unfortunately have no proof of the incredible whale we saw today. I just couldn't focus and click fast enough. But it was magnificent. Being down at sea level adds a whole other dimension. We were at Bondi enjoying the beautiful weather when I saw a puff and then a huge black and white body glided out of the water and back in. The whale was enormous. It was so close, in the green water. My sister's in-laws from Perth couldn't believe it and the 4 cousins were screaming they were that excited. The beautiful whale came out a few more times in the same gentle way and then it was gone. It was lovely!!!!!

Winter seems to have disappeared briefly. Look how many people are in the water!

Monday, July 10

Can't Stop Yawning

Feeling and looking haggard today. It's been a full weekend. Late nights and early starts. Dinner with friends. Long phone calls with JD. Birthday party. Farewell BBQ. Kids Party. Old friends. Family. Lots of driving. Traffic jams. Open roads. It was all nice but glad it's over.

Celebrated my brother's birthday for the first time ever. He turned 40 so it was a special one. Looking over at my Mum's face at one point in the evening, beaming with joy was priceless. So I've been with him in person only 4 times now, and it's so weird looking into his eyes. There is definitely something in them that is so familiar and so deep and beyond what I can put into words but at the same time I'm very much aware of the fact that until September last year if I'd passed him on the street I would never have known he was my brother. Thank God he and her are finally reunited. He never bargained on siblings in the mix, and he thinks it's very cool.

Glad the sun is shining today. My nieces came to my house this morning and they brought such lovely energy with them. We played and sang and scootered and googled stuff and I've got some new drawings for my wall.

Now I'm just waiting to hear from JD about whether his company is cool about the fact that he can't leave Germany yet. The latest drama being that we cannot get a confirmed seat for him until the 24th July. Yes, in 2 weeks time. I'm somehow so resigned to the fact that I'm not bothered at all. And I know they're so tight they wouldn't pay for an upgrade. He is now well again and his Dad has been released from hospital and is back in the home getting the proper care that an Alzheimer patient needs. Thank you everyone for your kind loving well wishes - I am touched.